Play Well with Others

Oh Mother...Mother...Mother...how right you were to relay this golden rule when I was a wee young thing. I will mention, however, you neglected to state that when I do not obey this golden rule as an adult the stakes are much higher (ie. bodily harm). Let us not live in the past and relive the details of this horrible moment when I did not listen to you. Let us instead focus on the lesson learned: "Never make fun of another person's sports team losing when within reaching distance."

Mother: 2, Life: 2

Don't marry for love, marry for money

Mama said, “Go to Pepperdine. Play volleyball, join a sorority, and then marry rich.”

Did I listen? No. Went to some stupid liberal-arts school, dated theatre majors, and then tried to get a career. Then fell in LUV and got married.

Point well taken Mother. Point. Well. Taken

Mother: 1, Life: 2

Step on a Crack and You'll Break Your Mother's Back

My, my Mother (shaking head). This one is really selfish of you. Since childhood I have walked down the sidewalk glancing down with every step to avoid destruction of your spinal column. What a pain in my neck.


Today I decided to test your little self preserving theory. I not only stepped on a few cracks along my walk, but I decided to stomp...neigh pummel one rather large crack. At first, I was timid. I was fearful and did not want to inflict serious damage. I called you during my first initial steps to see if you were experiencing even a small spasm. No dice. I became surly. Right then and there I started pulverizing a crack on the street. Do you feel that one mother? How about that?


Chalk this one up to a mother lying to her naive child. Shame on you Mother. I learned life is better looking up.


Mom: 0 Life: 2